Today me mates Ah'm goin' to post some of me favorite quotes from the curse fo the Black Pearl. A warnin' to all of ye: if ye haven't seen the movie this won't be as funny.
Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.
[Jack makes to continue but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy]
Jack Sparrow: Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation? Murtogg: Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack Sparrow: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl. Mullroy: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails. [Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed] Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: [nods] No.
Mullroy: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.
Jack Sparrow: [to Weatherby Swann] I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Jack Sparrow: I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that. [to Commodore Norrington]
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry... Will... nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you... [backs up and trips over ledge]
Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around!
Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck.
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it.
Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
Jack Sparrow: Now... bring me that horizon. [humming]
Jack Sparrow: "And really bad eggs." Drink up me 'earties. Yo ho. [snaps compass shut]
Jack Sparrow: Scarlet. [She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that. [a blond woman approaches]
Jack Sparrow: Giselle.
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What? [She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.
Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then.
Jack Sparrow: [Wakes up and sees Elizabeth burning the rum] No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One: because it is a *vile* drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: mark my words, give it an hour maybe two, keep a weather eye out and there will be white sails on that horizon.
Jack Sparrow: [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody is now. [Seeing Norrington's ship off shore]
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no living with her after this.
Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley...
Jack Sparrow: That's the one. Parley. Parley.
Pintel: Parley? Damn to the depths whatever man what thought of "Parley".
Jack Sparrow: That would be the French.
Jack Sparrow: Anamaria. [Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria: You stole my boat!
Jack Sparrow: Actually...
Anamaria: [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow: Borrowed... borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria: But you didn't!
Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one.
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one.
Jack Sparrow: A better one.
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: What one?
Will Turner: [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: That one? Aye, that one. What say you to that? The Crew: Aye!
Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out. Murtogg: I said no lies.
Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.
If Ah go any further Ah will be a quotin' the whole bloody movie! Wind in ye sails!